You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
She's the barista slut.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize