Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
