Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
