Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
