mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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