i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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