your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
