He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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