If i come over, it means nothing
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Randomize