You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Randomize
