if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Randomize
