Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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