Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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