Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
