I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
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