My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
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