Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
