In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
