I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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