I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Randomize
