I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
