Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
