who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
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