You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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