On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
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