Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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