If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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