Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Randomize
