This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
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My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
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You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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