Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
bring money and cleavage
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
