How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
People with herpes should wear stickers.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
sarcasm needs its own font
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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