I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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