I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
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