If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
handjob tips. give me some.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
