I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
