She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
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