sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Watching her eat just hurts me
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
