Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
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