I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Randomize
