Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
