when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
