It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
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