tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
