Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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