apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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