His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Randomize