im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
