Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Randomize
