Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
so let's talk penis.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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