i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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