Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
