everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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