That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
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woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
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Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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