just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
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