why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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