I like my sex mixed with concussions.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
