I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
