I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
