I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
