yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
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