I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Randomize
