I wanna bring you to show and tell
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
