a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
